One of them reasons is I feel like I've received more negativity than I thought I would, as I write this I sit with a tight knot of anxiety in my belly and that's all I've had for the past few days, I've had multiple panic attacks and I considered not writing my blog anymore even though I've been talking to some absolutely fantastic people in preparation for a blog I was supposed to write a couple of days ago.
I knew on some level that I would receive some crap about writing this I knew the 'attention' comments would be thrown around and I thought I was ready for it, but honestly, I wasn't.
I'm not writing multiple status' complaining because I've got a snotty nose I've been told there's a possibility of dying at 20 years old.
I'm sorry to be blunt but I feel like those negative people will still be reading this, and they need to know, you DID get to me, you really did. I considered not doing this anymore but now I think, so you know what- SCREW YOU!
I have got SO MANY positive, supportive incredible people in my life you are simply irrelevant now.
I did feel I needed to write a status...
Then I got so many lovely messages again it made me feel better.
Then 1 negative person turned into 2, then 3, then that's when it really got to me because I started to keep it to myself.
I'm really trying not to let them get to me and honestly whilst I've been writing this my anxiety knot in my tummy has started to fade, this blog really does help me!
People need to realise that I really am not writing this blog 'for the attention' or 'using my illness' or anything like that, I'm putting a lot of work into trying to raise awareness, there is a lot going on behind this blog in planning aswell, I'm proud of all of that and I want to help people!
Okay so first moan out of the way onto the second, MOUTH ULCERS- Ugh! These things are literally a pain in the bottom! It is like Satan has laid small devil eggs in my mouth!
I was really sick today, treatment has made me pretty poorly I'm feeling much better this evening though!
Kept my room really dark today and the fan was directly on me, TV was off and I just led in bed thinking about so many things it really helped me relax and clear my mind a bit. I really think everyone needs that sometimes, some time away from the world even for an hour, just turn everything off and lay there in silence and just think!
51 Days until my headshave! It could not come quick enough although I'm sure I won't be saying that on the day, a friend of mine has agreed to film the event itself so hopefully that will be put on the blog! I say it could not come quick enough even if I did freak out the other night and kept my friend Eloise imprisoned in the lounge crying about loosing my identity forgetting the bigger picture!
I'm over that now though! *cringes*
I'm getting a PERM on Friday at my Aunties salon where my friend Kim works and that day they are 'standing up to cancer' which is so amazing and I'm so happy to be going in that day if any tries to sit down... I'll... Well, I may take a whip! ;)
I guess that's all today for my personal blog I'm going to make a start on my next awareness blog which is all about LEUKAEMIA!
I'm going to see Ed Sheeran today so I'll be happier! hehehe.
Lots of Love to everyone, sorry to family and friends that have had to deal with me!
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