Update...

Gosh, I haven't done a blog about me in a while, well it seems like a while anyway.

I've been pretty poorly lately, just been absolutely exhausted and worn out.
HOWEVER, I've been the receiver of brilliant news!

Now, some time ago the consultant explained to me about my tumour, the positioning and other factor of my personal insides (lady bits ya know) and said after my most recent operation we were at a bit of a 'dead end' there wasn't much they could do without really damaging my insides, they said I can carry on with treatment if I wanted or I could wait and 'see what happened'  I would still be on some form of treatment but to me that sounded like 'you can fight or you can give up' so of course I continued to fight and this was just after I had to leave work, which was a bloody good job because the new treatment really did knock me for 6 and that's where my hair problems got a lot worse.
This treatment isn't as regular so it's a bit disheartening when my hair falls out after treatment then I have a week and a half before my next IV treatment and by that time I feel better and my hair loss has calmed down, then it's back to it again. It's really up and down and to be honest with my bi-polar it doesn't help at all. My moods are already up and down (if you aren't aware about bi-polar please do Google it it's a mental illness that people kind of, see Kerry Katona at her worst and think that's what everyones like) so I don't need to extra stress on me, that's why I'm doing my headshave, I'm stepping in and taking control of my situation! I always have been a control freak.

SO, back to the brilliant news! I went to see the nurse last week for some results and she said that my tumour is SHRINKING! It basically gets attacked by the treatment as do all my cancer cells and they were amazed at the results. I got lots of praise which felt amazing but, a bit like I said in my first blog, I don't feel like it's necessary, I'm just fighting for myself, for my family, because I want to stick around and annoy them a bit more, plus bit morbid but my Nanny Vi would go bat shit crazy if I met her in heaven like 'Alright Nan, I gave up' you do NOT want to be on the bad side of that woman, TRUST ME.

That was last week, I was going to write a blog but I was just so so tired and worn out and busy I didn't have time. THEN, yesterday I went to the hospital for a scan and they gave me even more good news, my tumour has shrunk so much it's 'shifted' and it's partially removed from my bowel lining.
This is literally incredible news.

NOW I AM PROUD OF MYSELF


I simply have to be, I could've given up, it would of been so easy, treatment tires me out so much I could've just said, nope I don't want that anymore, nothing may of happen, but again, I took control and said nope, continue, I need this to work.

It all goes back to all the things I want from life, I really feel like I want too much from life to give up.

All the sickness and the tiredness is all worth it though because I'm on top of the world!

Thank you so much everyone for your support, you get me through everyday, I re-read your messages everytime I'm feeling down and it gives me a kick up the bum! 

Love you all so much!