The Beginning...

Need to breathe properly just to start with!

Had my godmother come to my house the other day to discuss the Skydive we're doing to raise money for Cancer Research and she encouraged me to properly explain my situation and WHY I've chosen to raise money to Cancer Research and why now.


So, here it goes.

When I was 15 I moved out of my mums house and in with my grandparents, I'd been quite poorly for a while with a lot of abdominal pain and fatigue, after a few trips to the GP they put it down to stress with my home situation and GCSE's etc I had already been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder so me having these 'crazy' outbursts where I'd be screaming in pain they decided to put down to an 'episode'.

But a year down the line, I was studying at college and finding it really difficult as I was in so much pain a lot of the time and had all these symptoms which made it really difficult to get through the day. 

So after going back and forth from the GP and getting diagnosed with 'random' things such as IBS and having multiple Kidney Stones they finally diagnosed me with PCOS- Polycystic Ovary Syndrome 

(Here's a link if you want a bit of a read)

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Polycystic-ovarian-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx

So once this was diagnosed I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders it had been almost 2 years since the pain had started and I finally felt like we were getting somewhere. I was prescribed with some strong pain relief for me to take as and when the pain hit me and I was having counselling to try and ease some of the stress.


However, 8 months later I was still really struggling, I had so much time off college poorly that I had to drop out early, I felt so down, like I was completely failing at life, nothing was working.

One day I went and saw a consultant after I'd had a series of tests and he explained to me the possibility of cancer. This word massively scared me and I instantly just thought 'I'm going to die'


At this time my cysts were really playing up, swelling and bursting causing me absolute agony on a daily basis, by this point not only had it affected my education it was affecting my social life too, I couldn't go out much because I'd either be really anxious of pain starting or I'd be in pain trying to hide it (trying to hide pain in public kind of leads to you being a snappy t*at and I ended up getting in a lot of arguments) NOT GOOD.


I felt like no one understood, I was so confused and felt like I had been completely left in the dark, they carried on with tests and I carried on spending everyday in pain. 


I carried on like this until August 2012 when they finally ruled out cancer.

They decided to send me to lots of different specialists to explore all different things down in my belly and try and pin point where the pain was actually coming from. 

Then in July 2013 they did a Laparoscopy which is keyhole surgery to have a look inside your belly, they were checking for something called Endometriosis 

(Another link for a read)

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/endometriosis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

They didn't find any Endometriosis but they did find rather a large tumour, they took biopsies of my cysts and the tumour and I was told they were cancerous.

They found many cancerous cells too.


I am still fighting against Ovarian Cancer which no one knew about, not even really close friends, until very recently, and some of them still don't know now. (So I'm sorry if this is how you're finding out but please message me if you have any questions)

Friday 15th August 2014 after I'd had a small operation on the Wednesday my doctor told me there's not a lot more he can do for me at the moment as my tumour is sticking to my bowel making it difficult.


Treatment has already blitzed my left ovary of cancer and I'm very hopeful that it will eventually do the same to my right. 

I’m still having chemotherapy and unfortunately my hair is now starting to fall out, I’m leaving little party favours wherever I go of clumps of hair (always laughing at this trying to make light of the situation) which means I will be shaving my head soon- my wonderful Auntie Gemma has suggested her shaving her head with me at our charity night to raise more money for the charity.

I’m not allowed to work full time at the moment so planning all these things for the charity is giving me something positive to do with my time, I’m hoping that through all of this negativity the positive at the end of it is that we have, together, raised a significant amount of money for CRUK!

I don’t only want to raise money though, I feel like raising awareness is also as important, not only with ovarian cancer but all of them, for men, women and children, it’s important we all know the warning signs and that no one is afraid to go to the doctors, because if I hadn’t continued going back time and time again I might not know now that I have a tumour growing inside.

I am now trying to do all the things I've always wanted to do- Starting with a Skydive with my godmother Andrea-


https://www.justgiving.com/charlie-annie/


If you could donate I would be eternally grateful! 

Also, finally telling my story, trying to make peace, not wasting anymore time on negativity and arguments and immature feelings. Just doing what truly makes me happy!


I've started writing a bucket list and I'd be grateful for some help with ideas-

If you wrote a bucket list what would be the first 3 things on your list?


I'd love to hear!

This has been really hard for me to write but I'm going to start writing this blog through recommendation of other patients and my nurse I guess it will just be a place for me to air my thoughts and feelings and I suppose a place for anyone who cares to come and see how I am? 

Aaaaaaaaand breathe... 


Lots of Love, Smiles and Well Wishes.